Prepare yourself.

So, Today our school was off. Wednesday, I know it was really weird. It's because they have these things called Furlough days where the school has to be shut down because of budget cuts.
FUCK YEAH.
Haha anyways, I wanted to hang out with Hallie, but on Monday she said that she was busy... I don't know why because she ended up being with Sarah and Katie. But I don't really care. I guess i'll just have to find new friends again. XD I'm probably not going to her school next year anyways.
So instead of being with Hallie today Ben and I hung out all day... literally ALL DAY. 8 am to 8 pm.
It was awesome. We were at the barn all day laughing, talking. We had a few really good long conversations about relationships, and other things that have been going on in our heads. Things like that.

So yeah know how I really liked Ben and we went on that awesome date together, and I thought that we hit it off really well?? Guess what...? The week after our date he came out as gay. He is rageingly homosexual.
Haha I was really happy for him when he came out :)

But ya know what happened today?? We were standing in the tack room at my barn and the radio was playing and someone like you came on. I thought we were going to go out of the little room so I kinda got really close to his body expecting him to turn and walk out also. He didn't so I just kinda staggered back and stayed slightly close to him. He leaned in and we were fourhead to fourhead just kinda making faces at each other. I was mouthing part of the chorus to Someone Like You and he got kind closer to my mouth... and he kissed me... .-. my first thought??
"HE'S GAY"
My second thought?
"Hm, maybe not?"
I didn't know what was happening it all happened to fast for my brain to comprehend it all at the moment. My body just kind of like melted into his arms and yeah... Then I broke it off and we just kinda awkwardly stared at each other and I probably had dear in a head light eyes. I was so shocked.

Other than that, nothing really cool happened today. Ben is kind of a ditz and admitted that he liked guys and girls but he likes guys A LOT more. He explained everything and it did make a lot of sense. Except I kind of realized that I pretty much helped him realize that he prefers guys... not the best feeling but that's okay. haha.

He helped me realize that  Jared is really the only somewhat viable option for me right now....
Even though he is taken... and doesn't like me...
but that's okay... XD I think?

Signed,
Yours Truely
Catlynn Crimson